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However, in Corporate business we often try other strategies with dead horses, including the following:

1. Buying a stronger whip.
2. Changing riders.
3. Say things like, “This is the way we have always ridden this horse.”
4. Appointing a committee to study the horse.
5. Arranging to visit other sites to see how they ride dead horses.
6. Increasing the standards to ride dead horses.
7. Appointing a tiger team to revive the dead horse.
8. Creating a training session to increase our riding ability.
9. Comparing the state of dead horses in todays environment.
10. Change the requirements declaring that “This horse is not dead.”
11. Hire contractors to ride the dead horse.
12. Harnessing several dead horses together for increased speed.
13. Declaring that “No horse is too dead to beat.”
14. Providing additional funding to increase the horse’s performance.
15. Do a Cost Analysis study to see if contractors can ride it cheaper.
16. Purchase a product to make dead horses run faster.
17. Declare the horse is “better, faster and cheaper” dead.
18. Form a quality circle to find uses for dead horses.
19. Revisit the performance requirements for horses.
20. Say this horse was procured with cost as an independent variable.
21. Promote the dead horse to a supervisory position.

A cowboy goes into a bar, has a beer, walks outside and finds his horse has been stolen. He walks back into the bar, fires his gun through the ceiling. “Which one of you stole my hoss?” he yells. No one answers. “All right, I’m gonna have one more beer and if my hoss ain’t outside by the time I finish, I’m gonna do what I dun in Texas.” He drinks another beer, walks outside, and his horse is back. So he gets on it and gets ready to ride out of town. The bartender walks out of the bar and asks, “Say pardner, what happened in Texas?” The cowboy turns to him, and says, “I had to walk home.

and there’s more from Sophie on the forum

How Many Riders Does it Take to Change a Light Bulb?

ENDURANCE RIDER: Light bulb? Do you mind, I’m trying to get my horse’s pulse / respiration / hydration levels to respectable levels. Once that is done, I have another 50 miles to go before I can even think about changing a light bulb.

DRESSAGE QUEEN: Me! Change a light bulb? Are you joking? I couldn’t possibly be expected to subject myself to such a menial task. Change it yourself.The very thought!

CLASSICAL DRESSAGE QUEEN: These things can not be rushed, but must be approached slowly, with great patience, and adherence to the principles laid down by the classical masters, otherwise the light bulb will not attain its true potential, but will forever just be a shadow of its true self. Never, ever, use any type of gadget when changing the light bulb. That is an offense to the principles of classical light bulb changing.

EVENTER: Hmm, as soon as my arm is out of this sling broken after falling off at that large stone wall (whilst riding Hell For Leather cross country) I’ll change it. Until then, deal with the dark. It will put hair on your chest. Only prissy Dressage Queens require lights, anyway.

SHOW JUMPER: Why on Earth would I need to change a light bulb when the whole world knows that the sun shines out of my ass. Spectators are practically blinded when I am competing.

NATURAL HORSEMAN You must instill respect in the light bulb, so that it sees you as the Alpha light bulb, using “light bulb dynamics” (video available at £99.00 on my Website). Once you have done this, you will find that there is really no need to change the light bulb at all, but that the light bulb will, with very little coaxing from you (using patented “light bulb coaxer” designed by me – £99.00 each, for extra £49.99 you get video thrown in) will behave as all good light bulbs should.

FOX HUNTER If you laid out all your kit the night before the hunt, you wouldn’t need to worry about the light bulb — you’d be on your way… Forget the light bulbs- got no time to worry about light bulbs – HOUNDS ARE RUNNING! Load in the dark (in August) unload in the dark (in December) Whats the big deal? (but please don’t forget the Hip Flask and Mars bar!)

YARD GROOMS Do I have to do everything??!! Oh Yeah, I do, don’t I? I’ll get to it as soon as I’m done mucking out the stables, sweeping the yard, filling the haynets, filling the water buckets, making up the feeds, grooming, picking up the droppings, sweeping the yard, cleaning the tack, excercising, turning out, fetching in, changing the rugs, mending the fencing and whatever else needs to be done.

INSTRUCTOR Someone better change the light bulb. In these days of litigation I am not teaching without a light bulb. Of course I will change the light bulb myself for my hourly freelance rate